I'll start with my classic fangasm:
OMFGNEEDZMOARNAOW
!!!!!
-moves on;-
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I love how you are writing in your own perspective and as I was reading I could really feel like I was the character I was reading about. I could easily put myself as the character and feel what the character would feel. (I realised I kinda said the same thing twice, but I seriously could not put it in a better way.)
Even thou this is just a start, it's a damn good one and keep up the good work. Right now I don't see anything that could have been better couse I'm already hooked, which normally takes a few chapters for me too become really.
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